the last straw

how did i finally last straw the 'i am shirking my responsibilites' problem? i came home and all my laundry was done. folded. in my room. my robes hung up like i like them. ok clearly i am slacking off even the mundane issues in my life that my mom/dad felt like they had to help me. not ok. now i look around and the room and i cant believe what i havent done. its like remains of a person of past that just left all their junk there. also i didnt eat. and when i tried i couldnt. clearly something wrong here. i love to eat.

i guess its simple: the tug and pull of odd work hrs. im thinking (again) of the calling of the out for manana. but i dunno...it seems 'wrong'. but what im currently doing also seems 'wrong'. so what can make it right???